Somewhere Phil Jackson Smirks….


As I sit here barely paying attention to the Thunder somehow giving the business to the Warriors (in the Warriors arena no less!) and perusing my instagram feed for the latest attention-whoring antics of all the thots I follow, a notification flashes across the top of my iPhone screen.

It reads “Knicks report All-Star Kristaps Porzingis tears ACL in left knee”. Well I’ll be Got damn. Tough break for the dude. No pun intended. Heh. But seriously, the youngin’ just made his first all star team. This season he was handed the keys to arguably the top franchise in the NBA. Calm down stat geeks. I mean in terms of popularity and relevance. The Knicks are always a hot ticket no matter how much they suck.

In the digital shithole that is the internet, fans of irrelevant franchises flood message boards with forced, made up rivalries with New York. Players turned commentators like Reggie Miller and Charles Barkley never miss a chance to throw digs at the Knicks even though the last time we contended for anything…they were still playing. By comparison, the fathers of the NBA style of play today, The Sacramento Kings, had a spark when the 2000’s started but now they just garbage. Just like the Knicks. But disparaging the Kings is not a “hot take”. Them NY boys tho…

But back to Kristaps. The unicorn was enjoying a fine season. Career highs in ppg, three point shooting percentage, and he led the league in blocks. The Latvian was headed for superstardom. Now though? After this? *Insert Conceited GIF here*
I actually didn’t see the injury when it happened. I was watching my daughter and her HS team put the beats on a conference rival for like the 5th straight time. Haha. When I got home the Knicks were down double digits in the third which didn’t shock me. As I go in the kitchen to heat up my leftover goat roti, I hear Mike Breen say something to the effect of “Knick fans anxiously await the results of the MRI on Porzingis”.
*Insert GIF of white dude blinking incredulously*

I’m sorry, what? MRI you say?? I knew that could not be good.

I thought he was toast that time Justise Winslow stepped on his ankle. Luckily “Plas” as I call him in my head only, was able to recover quickly from that one. By the way millenials, “Plas” is short for Plastic Man. A DC Comics superhero that had his own Saturday morning cartoon for a lil minute and that’s what they called him on there. Slap some shaded goggles on KP and a red unitard, and he’s a dead ringer for him. Google it.

Without knowing which body part was getting an MRI, I had hopes that this too would pass quickly. No such luck. I log on to the Knicks thread on the sports forum I frequent, and the consensus was that it looked like an ACL injury and the best case scenario was that it was only a sprain. And then finally my phone chimes with the notification that we all feared: it was a tear.

My first thought was, “Maaaan, fuck Phil Jackson!!” Why? Because he called this shit that’s why! You remember his comment before KP even stepped on a NBA court: “He may be too tall for the game. His core strength might never be good enough”. And I’ll be got damned if it doesn’t look like that pot smoking, smug dickhead might be right. In his third and best season in the NBA, Kristaps has done nothing to dispel the notion that he’s fragile. He’s had a host of knick knack injuries and every season he’s worn down at this time of year. He committed the cardinal sin of telling the most vicious media contingent on the planet that he’s “tired”.

I admit even before this, I held my breath every time this kid landed after a drive or got thrown to the floor by a 6’4 guard. His gangly ass lands awkwardly more often than not, and when he dunks hard it looks like his arms are about to snap off. So where does KP and NY go from here? An ACL injury isn’t the career death sentence that it was in the 80’s, but with the body type KP has, I’m not sure he’ll reach the potential he showed up to this point. He never was particularly explosive and now getting that way appears to be in jeopardy. His post game already needed work, which would have included bulking up. How will his surgically repaired knee hold up under that?

I also haven’t seen the mental toughness required of a player required to carry the heavy load that is the New York Knicks. Ewing had it. Sprewell had it. Hate em or love em, Melo had it too. KP? Ehhh, queue up that Conceited GIF again.

Will the young Latvian be able to regain the confidence and go out and play without thinking about his knee?
Again I say “Fuck Phil Jackson”. Cuz I couldn’t stand dude and it looks like he might have had Porzingis pegged right. He was ready to trade his ass last off-season. On some “who the fuck does this lil pissant think he is blowing off my exit meeting? Dirk Nowitzki? Oh hellll no! Hello Boston? Holla at me man! Cavs? What’s good??” However MSG upper-upper management wasn’t having that and the Zen Master was shown the door! No one was happier than me! But damn. Was he on to something? Was Phil the President we needed but not the one we deserved?? Hell no. Not pushing that bullshit ass triangle! But damn. I hate to admit he may have called it on Porzingis.

So now with the trade deadline 2 days away and NY now on the fast track to landing a top 5 pick, what direction do they pursue? Do they become sellers for real for real now at the deadline? Or do they go after some complimentary pieces to Jarrett fuckin Jack and Courtney Lee and continue a fake ass playoff push? Lol that sounds AND reads stupid. Get both those mufuckas outta here. KOQ, McDermott, Lance if anybody will take his ass, everybody is fired got dammit. Ev. Ree. Body. That includes Hernangomez. That includes French Frank.

I don’t give a fuck.

Billy will never be starter on a championship team. He will never be a 6th man on a contender. Gtfoh. Frank has shown nothing to prevent him getting moved in the right deal. I mean he can stay, but just don’t get too comfortable.

The real question is do the Knicks draft a compliment to KP with their top 5 pick or a new player to build around. I often hear shit like “oh so and so is the perfect 5 next to KP”. Man fuck all that. KP is a damn 5. He was not so hot at chasing around stretch 4’s pre-injury. And now on a bad knee?

Man listen.
I’ve already said KP had the makings of a very good Robin to a better players Batman. If Scott Perry and Steve Mills know what I know, they are firing up the Bat Signal right now.